I would much prefer winning to losing, but I believe more is learned from losing than from winning.  At least, that is how I have consoled myself after some heartbreaking loses.  In athletic competitions, the heartbreaks are usually short-lived, but oh, so intense!


I lost again on Saturday at our horse show.  Losing in that arena is not placing in the top 5.  It’s disheartening to lose time and time again.  I find myself approaching show day feeling defeated before we ever enter the show ring.  Then afterwards talking myself back into the confidence I find in riding, learning from the horse, teaching him, and caring for him.

Meredith got 2nd on my horse and then 4th in a speed event with her favorite horse.  Meredith placing is much sweeter than placing myself!

And yet….I still want to hear my number called.


I got a glimpse of how some children must feel about school.  They enter those huge front doors feeling defeated before the day even begins.  When I feel defeated, I have the emotional and cognitive ability to talk myself through it and get over it.  Most children don’t have that capacity.  I’m not sure I would have it day after day after day.

I have never bought into the idea that everyone on every team at every competition should get a trophy, but neither should we subject children to constant defeat.

The answer lies somewhere  in the adult world of balancing challenges with successes, positives with negatives,  and security with risk.  We have to help our children experience success without keeping them from facing risks and real loses.


Yeah for the filly!  Rachel Alexandra is the first filly to win the second leg of the Triple Crown in 85 years!  I love it!

Rachel Alexandra